Raising Girls in 2023

This precious human is why I didn’t publish a post on Friday. I had been busy all week with our daughter and her family following the birth of our fourth granddaughter on Monday. We all are smitten and I was wiped out, incapable of coherent thought. I have had a couple of nights of decent sleep, and so I am back with a make up post.


We are a family of girls. The world these girls will grow up in looks nothing like the world I know. They will fight battles that I know nothing about. Maybe the things I worry about won’t be battles for them, but I fear they will have to deal with the consequences of many current social and political trends.

Merriam Webster Dictionary defines a girl this way:

(1) : a female child from birth to adulthood – a seven-year-old girl

(2) : a person whose gender identity is female – narrator Taylor Meskimen draws listeners into the emotional life of Zenobia July, a tech-savvy trans girl who’s facing a new year at a new middle school. —Rebecca Honeycutt

I do not understand how it feels to deal with feelings of being something that is not represented by one’s physical appearance. But if the Merriam Webster Dictionary includes those who simply identify as girls to be girls, then society has a problem.

I believe that there are people who truly suffer from the feelings that their external physical body does not match the gender that they feel and experience. They truly feel trapped inside the wrong kind of body. My heart breaks for them and the pain they live with every day. The fact that there are medical solutions available to them is amazing and life saving. But…there is so much more to consider.

Follow The Science

Genetically speaking males and females are very different. Comedians have made a living using these differences as material for their routines, and all of us have used male/female differences as the cornerstone of stories, jokes, and family lore. The differences are real and go beyond the outward physical appearance.

Male and females are genetically different. Our DNA is different. Believing one’s gender is something other than what was assigned at birth doesn’t change DNA. If, in a hundred years, the bones of a “trans woman” are tested for DNA, will scientists find and X and a Y chromosome or two X chromosomes? Will they identify the bones as those belonging to a male or female? Will they know or care how this person identified, or will they simply know what the DNA shows?

Protect Our Girls

If an adult chooses to change their physical appearance so they are able to live their best possible life I believe that they should have the right to do so. The bigger question in my mind is, should that deeply personal decision be forced on the rest of society in a way that we all must agree that this person is now female and thus have all the rights and privileges of a two X chromosome female?

If simply deciding one is female, then the value and the importance of females is watered down and we, who were born with two X chromosomes become replaceable.

As a woman who came of age in the 1970s I am wondering, where are all the feminists who fought so hard for women’s rights? How are they not marching in the streets to stop biological males from competing in women’s sports and demanding that they can be women because they feel like a woman. I don’t see the media pushing biological women who transition to men trying to convince us they can produce sperm just because they have surgically altered bodies, yet they are trying to convince us trans women can get pregnant and have babies.

This is an assault on women and we should be standing up for the rights of our girls. Identity as a girl/woman should not mean that a person with the biology of a man be allowed to participate in women’s sports, be named woman of the year, or be the recipient of anything that is deemed for women only. This dilutes and diminishes women. For the sake of our girls, we must all stand together.

In an open and fair society maybe we need to encourage other changes rather than forcing women to accept being nothing more than something someone can choose to become. Maybe we need to rethink public restrooms, dressing rooms and add a third category for athletics. Just don’t force me to agree that you are a woman just because that is how you feel. A trans-woman, yes, a biological woman – no.

Loving Kindness To All

In the end, each person must live their life as they determine is appropriate; however, your self identity must not be allowed to diminish the value and role of women as you live out your true self.

The responsibility of a compassionate society is to allow each individual to be themselves and treat people with dignity and respect. No one should ever be shamed or made to feel like an outcast; nor should anyone else be forced to change their beliefs based on another’s experience. Listen to each other and treat the other person with kindness and love.

As a follower of Jesus, this is what I believe he would have done. I don’t have to agree with everything another person believes in order to see their innate human worth and treat them with kindness. In my humble opinion, those who feel the need to push their lifestyle on others in an aggressive manner have deeper issues of self worth and are simply attention seekers. Whatever the case, a smile, kindness and listening more than talking will always be the best approach.

Follow the golden rule and treat others as you would like to be treated and encourage the girls and women in your life to stand strong and firm in their womanhood.

Do The Work: Research

Don’t just take my opinion and accept or discard it. Do some research. Learn what is really going on so that the next generation of females can grow up strong knowing they are protected.

For my money, the place to begin is with Kara Dansky. She is a feminist and a powerful advocate for this movement. She speaks the truth of what is really happening and is a progressive liberal who is not afraid to align herself with conservatives if it means getting this message out to as many people as possible. I first saw her on Tucker Carlson’s show – one of, if not the only news talk program to give her a platform. As the father of three daughters, he is keenly aware of the impact this movement will have on the lives of the next generation of women. No matter what you think of Carlson, he opens his show to all sides and gives platforms to opinions and ideas that others reject.

Once you have researched and drawn your own conclusions, no matter which side you believe to be correct, treat the other side with respect. Discuss. Listen. Love. We are all in this mess together.

On Friday I will continue this line of thought from a political party point of view. Until then…be kind.





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