Now that I have my bullet journal set up for me, I have begun to add January events and goals. I have monthly and weekly goals which I will break down into steps within the week for the bigger goals. But here in lies a basic personality flaw. With only a momentary twinge of guilt I can look at what I have written or scheduled, close the journal and pretend I forgot to take care of the business of the day. This type of procrastination has been an inherent part of my personality for as long as I can remember.
The neglected items aren’t really forgotten, rather they are pushed to the back of my mind and I spend the day ignoring the little voice trying to remind me of what I should be doing. After at least fifty years living like this I am really good at silencing my inner life coach. I have already started working on this very exhausting behavior.
One of the areas that I most often shove to the periphery of my mind are things that involve talking on the phone. This includes calls to insurance companies which almost cost me my first year of a Medicare supplement insurance. I get this overwhelming anxiety about talking to people. I do as much as possible online. I waited until there were only two days left in the window to sign up for this insurance coverage. Finally, it crossed my mind and I just did it. I didn’t think about it. Didn’t say to myself, “I’ll just do __________ and then I’ll make the call.” Nope! I just made the call. I felt like such an adult.
I have supported myself, lived on my own and taken care of my business. I know I can do it. For the past thirty thirty three years I have had a husband who takes care of these tasks, so I don’t have to worry with any of it. It is a skill that will return if or when it is needed, but for now I enjoy having it taken care of for me.
There are, however, things that he cannot or should not do for me that I just need to girl-up and get it done. The first is self care. Eating a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, and getting my body moving more are at the top of my list. I know, everybody has those on their list. They have been on my list back when I did that sort of thing. What I have learned is that every day is a fresh start. If I wake up every day and decide to make good food choices, to move more than I don’t and gradually increase that movement, then at the end of the year there will be calculable changes in my stamina, physical and mental health. I have already begun some of these changes and will add walking and moderate exercise then build up to more. I want the strength to keep living the way I have always lived and I am finally at the tipping point. If I don’t do something things are going hurt and give out. I just don’t have time for that. Time for an ounce of prevention.
I also want to make time for some new or new again things in my life. More about that tomorrow. Until then, get your body moving and have a great day.
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