Jesus had just witnessed a man, Jairus, being told his daughter was dead. The men were on their way to the home of Jairus’ family so that Jesus could heal his daughter, but it appeared they were too late.
Moments like this are painfully awkward. What does one say or do? Nothing is the answer. There is nothing we can do to remove the pain or restore the life. Jesus is no ordinary man. He looks at the grieving father and says, “Do not fear; only believe.” From there they went to the house and Jesus did indeed bring this girl back to life. He touched her, and commanded her to get up. “Her spirit returned and she got up at once.”
When Jesus calls us to something, we are to get up and do it.
The Voice of God
God is not a one trick pony. He can and will use any means necessary to guide us to our highest good. Some of us just take a little more coaxing that others, but if we listen and obey, the life we lead will be transformative for all with whom we meet.
In this particular case, God spoke to me through the Bible in the morning and Hallmark the rest of the day. The connection was undeniable and the results tangible.
I was not sitting down watching these movies. I was in and out of the room, climbing on a ladder, dragging decorations in from the garage. And yet, at just the right moment I was standing in the living untangling wires when I heard one of the characters say, “Don’t be afraid, just believe.” I froze. Of all the ways to express that sentiment it is no coincidence that he said it this way. I had to back up the story a bit to find out what the woman in the story was afraid of. Well, of course. She was afraid of letting go of the familiar and doing the thing she really wanted to do but was afraid of failing.
After letting all this soak in, I went back to work, ate lunch, and then it was time for a new movie. At some point in this movie the same sentiment was uttered to another character struggling with change. This, my friends was the third time that day I heard the message. I could tell that something inside me had shifted.
For the first time in seventeen years I felt like me again. I felt free. A huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I could breathe deeply and freely. In that moment I knew what I needed to do and more importantly what I must stop doing.
More of the Backstory
Something inside me changed when I became a business owner. And the problem magnified when I tried to bring the business into my home and work from here. I enjoyed certain aspect of owning a creative business. I am good at making things; I am very creative and certainly I think outside the box. So why could I not consistently do what I enjoyed and make money at it? Why did I struggle so much to do what should come naturally?
My life, and home, became more disorganized, I was constantly dissatisfied (moving always seemed to be the solution to the problem) and frustrated with the status of my life. So often I would think of my pre-Yarntopia life and say,”I didn’t used to be like this.” What had changed?
In that moment, standing in the living room with a jumbled up mess of wires, I suddenly understood. In 2005 I took a detour that led me on a path that resembled the wires in my hand. I was following the wrong dream. There was nothing wrong with what I was doing. I know I helped many people during those years. But it was not the lifelong path for me and it was time to fully and completely turn my back and go in another direction. It was time to do that thing that I had been afraid of committing to do. It was time to put aside my fear and believe.
From That Day Forward
In that moment I had a radical transformation that, one week later, continues to be true. A week may not sound like long to you, but trust me, for the me who inhabited this body for the past seventeen years, a week is an eternity.
For the past week my home has been clean and organized which frees my mind and spirit to be creative. I’m sticking to a schedule and actually accomplishing the things I want to accomplish. I am not putting off doing things, I just do them and get them out of the way. The result? More freedom for my mind and spirit.
The weight that has been lifted off my shoulders is tremendous. I feel reborn. I am reborn. This is what happens when I truly listen to God’s voice and seek to live like Jesus. That doesn’t mean I am perfect. If you have made it this far in my story you know I am imperfect. But, my example is perfect and with Him I can achieve what I was placed here to achieve.
I Am A Writer
As a child I wanted to be a teacher. For reasons that aren’t important here, that did not happen. But, what I did accomplish is finding ways to work with children during my life before Yarntopia. During Yarntopia we helped our daughter by allowing her and her three daughters to live with us. I was surrounded by children at home and knew this was what I was to be doing with my life at that moment. It was a sacrifice, but one that enriched our lives tremendously.
Once they left there was a void in my life. I tried filling it with the yarn business but no matter what I accomplished there no part of it was as fulfilling to me as everything I had done before. I tried finding excitement and purpose in moving. Nope…not the right answer either.
I knew the moment I had my Hallmark movie experience that what I was most afraid of doing was writing. I have fantasized for over thirty years about being a writer. No college? Can’t be a writer. At least that is what I told myself. I have dabbled. I have written many, many blogs and now regret not saving them; but somehow I think I needed to do it that way. I now have the opportunity for this fresh start. No college? That’s OK, I have God-given talent and the determination to fulfill my purpose in life. I have a life time of experiences to draw from and stories I can tell. Like so many people, I have one big book idea rolling around in my head. That may or may not happen. But what I will write are little stories here that I hope will uplift and make you laugh. I want to write stories that draw you in and make you sad when the story is over. I want to write stories for kids and maybe collaborate with an amazing illustrator to do picture books. They are my absolute favorite. I want to write stories that children hold on to and then read to their children one day.
The End and The Beginning
And so that is the story of my Hallmark movie transformation. I can now, with full confidence say, I AM a writer.
From Where I Sit 
Leave a Reply