Everyone knows that Hallmark movies are formulaic and predictable. Their Christmas movies more than anything else tell the same story with different faces, locations, and situations; but the romantic outcome is always the same. So why do millions of people watch them every year? Why are streaming services and other networks now making similar movies? It is really quite simple – we all need something good, pure, and wholesome to believe in. The crazier the world becomes, the more we need feel good entertainment. But, that is not the point of why a day of watching Hallmark movies while decorating my home for Christmas became a pivotal moment in my life.
Allow me to tell you a bit of my back story as it is vital in understanding that magical moment.
The Yarntopia Years
Seventeen years ago I met a woman at a knitting group and within a year we had opened a yarn shop. She was the mother of young children dreaming of a life with more adult conversations; I had left the working world to help raise my first granddaughter and needed something of my own. We weathered up and down economic times and transitions in our personal lives, defying the odds to keep the store open for many years. At the end of year eight she wanted out of the business immediately. I continued on alone for another three years. I could have fought to keep it going, but I didn’t. I was tired. I needed a break. What happened next took over five years to figure out. I am a slow learner, but when I get it….I really get it.
Spinning, Knitting and Crochet, Oh My!
Without taking time to rest, re-evaluate or even think, I brought the leftovers home and was going to begin a new business selling yarn, spinning fiber, supplies, etc online and at fiber festivals. Sounded logical to me at the time. All the benefits of owning a shop without the overhead.
From that moment in 2017 until last Tuesday, I have spent more money, energy – both mental and physical, and most importantly, time trying to resuscitate a dead business. No matter how I repackaged, changed focus, craft or name, my fiber art career was dead and I had to let it rest in peace. But, who was I without this identity?
I was determined to not make a plan. No more logos, business names, or other crazy ideas. In that moment I knew that in order to move forward I had to let go. I mean really let go of the security blanket that was my identity in the fiber art world. I didn’t know what would come next, I just knew I couldn’t continue on the path I had been traveling and it had to be a complete ninety degree turn to go a different direction.
And so, I set out to decorate my home for Christmas, watch some movies and enjoy time alone.
When In Doubt, Turn To God
I had been praying for guidance and peace. I write everyday and have always dreamed of being a writer. The lack of a college degree and other forms of insecurity have kept me from pursuing this dream. I do it for myself and let it go. Why keep sticking my hand in the fire of failure only to get burned yet one more time? I’m not insane. I know the outcome doesn’t change just because I keep doing something over and over again.
In case you are not a Hallmark movie aficionado, let me assure you this fear of failure dilemma is a regular theme in these holiday movies. One of the characters is at the point of some existential crisis in their life when something or someone intervenes to open their eyes. This is exactly what happened to me.
My crisis? I’m turning 65 in a couple of months so getting old is on my mind; what do I do with the rest of my life? During my prayer time that morning I was planning on reading Luke this month and on my way to the beginning of the book, my eyes caught this title in the margin: “When Life Is Interrupted” and referenced Luke 8:40-56.
Jesus had crowds waiting for him – waiting for a glimpse, a healing, a word, any sign of hope. A father and leader in the synagogue named Jairus came to Jesus asking him to come to his home and heal his daughter. Before they could arrive, another man told Jairus not to bother Jesus as his daughter was already dead.
What Jesus said next changed Jairus’ life and it changed mine.
This is my cliff hanger. See you tomorrow.
From Where I Sit 
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